


Advanced Technology

by IsItAShower



Category: Glee
Genre: Friendship, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-21 23:22:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/906159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsItAShower/pseuds/IsItAShower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Santana learns why you shouldn't touch other peoples stuff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Advanced Technology

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short one-shot that I wrote because Pezberry is my brotp and I was bored. Enjoy.

"I swear to God, Rachel, you better not be doing what it fucking feels like you're doing," warned Santana while almost rolling off the side of the bed in an effort to get as far away from the jerky movement of Rachel's right arm.

Rachel let out an indignant squeak. " _Really_ , Santana? Could you  **be**  any more disgusting? Do you honestly believe that I would do what you're implying I'm doing while there's another person occupying my bed?"

"I don't know what kinda kinky shit you're into, Berry. Alls I know is that your elbow has been poking me in the back for the past five minutes and the last time something did that, it turned out to be a strap-on Brittany forgot to take off before we went to sleep."

**"Santana!"**  scolded Rachel. "For your information, I decided to try a new moisturiser and I think I may be allergic to it. I was scratching and itch,"

Santana snorted.

Rachel ignored her and continued, "I was not...doing,  _that_."

Santana rolled-very carefully due to her precarious position-onto her side to face an outraged and slightly embarrassed Rachel and scoffed, " _That?_ " mocked Santana, "Oh please, stop acting like a blushing virgin. These walls are very, very thin; I heard you and Man-whore McGiggelo getting your freak on. By the way, you owe me like, fifty bucks for all the bleach I had to buy and poor in my ears to try and rid myself of those _awful, horrific, nightmare inducing_  sounds."

Rachel's face remained blank as she kicked out her leg, hitting a smirking Santana right in the boobs causing the girl to squeal as her body suddenly became airborne before hitting the ground with a grunt.

"Sorry. I slipped. Must have used too much moisturiser"

Rachel's apology was met with silence. Concerned, Rachel shuffled over to Santana's side of the bed.

"Santana?" she questioningly whispered into the darkness.

At the lack of response, Rachel started to panic; hundreds of horrible scenarios played through her minds eye at what she'd find when she looked over the side of the bed.

_Santana sprawled out on the floor, blood gushing from the open wound on her head._ _**Dead** _ _._

_Santana's cold, lifeless eyes staring accusingly back at Rachel. Her neck twisted at an odd angle._ _**Dead** _ _._

_Santana whipping around her carefully hidden 'sleeping aid' like a sword while it buzzed quietly._

That thought caused Rachel to very nearly throw herself off onto the floor; unwilling to subject herself to the jokes and jabs Santana would undoubtably throw her way at such a find.

"It's not what it looks like!" she pleaded. "The sales assistant said it back a back massag-" her rambling excuse coming to a sudden halt when her eyes landed on nothing but empty wooden floorboards.

"What on Earth? Santana?"

"Back massager, huh?"

The start from hearing Santana's voice was coming from somewhere behind her instead on beneath her were she was supposed to have been caused Rachel to topple head first onto the floor.

"How did you-"

"Crawled under the bed." she dismissed.

Rachel stood, her eyes never leaving the subtle back and forth motion of the object the women standing opposite her holding.

"What kind of, " Santana made air quotes " _Back massager,_  lights up?"

"Yes, well, I mean, it's a new model…for…uhhh…night time use."

Santana raised a sharp eyebrow. " _Mhmm._ "

Hands on hip, Rachel stomped her foot while insisting, "It's advanced technology!"

Santana jiggled the vibrator teasingly. "And I guess it being shaped like a dick is just advanced technology too, right? Helps to reach those,  _hard to get places._ "

Rachel had two options; either continue to unsuccessfully try and convince Santana that what the girl was holding was a benign back massager, or, she could just admit that she was a grown woman and that there was nothing wrong with owning a vibrator.

Or...

"You do realise that if what you are so obnoxiously waving about is in fact what you believe it to be, that means that said object has come in to contact with certain places of mine.  _Places,_  Santana."

Rachel tried not to let her triumph show as Santana's face turned from smug, to questioning, followed quickly by realisation and then finally stopping on horrified. She really did, but the speed in which Santana dropped the toy and ran from the room and into the bathroom muttering to herself the entire time while frantically rubbing her hands up and down her sleep shorts made chest swell with a sense of prideful accomplishment.

Confident Santana wouldn't tell a living soul about one of the most mortifying moments she's ever experienced, Rachel climbed back into bed with a smile on her face while Santana spent the next twenty minutes locked in the bathroom; scrubbing her hands with too much soap while trying not to heave.


End file.
